Shabbat Chayey Sarah
Pay attention to the words!
Narratives are subjective. We say things that often don’t tell the whole story and even disguise our true intentions. Sometimes the discrepancy is intentional. Sometimes accidental.
There are two examples this week of such cases The narrative of the Torah can be understood on different levels. On the surface it is just telling a story like any other. Except that this a very special one, overlaid with ethical “dos” and “don’ts”. It is replete with important insights into human nature.
After Sara dies, Avraham goes looking for a burial site. In Hittite and other Middle East Bronze age cultures, the bodies of poor people who died were buried, burnt, or left for vultures to strip them and would just decompose. The wealthy or royals would be buried in caves, catacombs, or magnificent pyramids and monuments.
Avraham wants to buy a cave to bury Sara. He approaches the local Hittite council and asks them if he can get a burial plot. The Hittites respond by describing Avraham as prince, meaning he has the status to acquire a burial cave. Avraham expresses his gratitude and then asks them to entreat Efron to sell his cave. Efron seems eager to sell. And declares that he will give the cave and the whole field with it to Avraham with pleasure, for free. Avraham replies that he insists on paying. Efron replies “Please, sir, I give it to you, for free.” And again, Avraham expresses his gratitude and says he wants to pay.
But then Efron comes back and says there is no need to pay, after all “What is a piece of land worth four hundred silver shekels between friends?” Why did Efron have to mention the exact price if he genuinely wanted to give it as present? The text says the Avraham listened to words of Efron (he realized Efron did not mean it) and so he weighed out the full price at the highest rate of exchange.
Efron was not being honest when he said he would give it for free otherwise he would not have mentioned the exact valuation of the property. Or perhaps he was playing the effusive social game and showing off. But Avraham understood from his words that money was precisely what he wanted. He listened to what Ephron was saying and discerned what he really meant from the words he spoke. Why does the Torah concern itself with such effusive and trivial niceties and the back and forth of bargaining if not for us to learn lessons of etiquette, how to negotiate and pay attention to what is being said?
The next episode is when Eliezer, Avraham’s estate manager is sent to find a wife for Yitschak. Avraham tells him specifically to go back to his homeland and birthplace to look for a wife, but he says nothing about going back to the family. And when Eliezer reached the well and asked God’s help in finding a wife, he said nothing about her having to come from Avraham’s family either. After he had picked out Rebecca and given her gifts only then did he ask what family she was from.
Later as they are negotiating the match with Betuel and Lavan, Eliezer says to her family “My master made me swear that I should not take a wife from the local tribes amongst whom I live but to go back to my father’s house and to my family to take a wife for my son.” Did Eliezer accurately report what Avraham had said or was he adding his own words? Avraham had not specifically mentioned his family. Yet Eliezer said that Avraham had mentioned his family, specifically. Was this because in the process bargaining, he was saying whatever he thought would seal the deal?
On the other hand, maybe Eliezer was reading deeper into Avraham’s intentions than the text lets on. After all the text says that he went to Aram Naharayim the city where Nahor his brother lived, knowing full well that most if not all the locals were pagan. Perhaps this illustrates how significant is the art of choosing words carefully, read between the lines, and listen to the words carefully to understand what is being said. Or if you are inclined, that everything was ordained!
The Torah provides guidance. It is not just a book of laws and customs but also one that helps us understand human nature better.
These episodes are examples of the delights of a close reading of the Biblical text! It is much more complex than at first sight. If even if many of us may read it at the very least once a year. Yet there are nuances and details often overlooked that make it so worthwhile and such a delight.
Bereishit Chapters 23-25:18
Rabbi Jeremy Rosen lives in New York. He was born in Manchester. His writings are concerned with religion, culture, history and current affairs – anything he finds interesting or relevant. They are designed to entertain and to stimulate. Disagreement is always welcome.
